Pack Rat

I have a problem. I'm a bit of a pack rat...and I'm trying to get better. Once in a while, I'll feel like throwing almost everything out - pretend I have to live out of a suitcase. Yesterday we rearranged our house, and once again I found a bunch of things I forgot I had. But I can't get rid of all this shit, because what if I need it someday? Like this here shoulder strap case that holds a portable tape player. It's a bit bulky and dumb looking, and who uses tape players anymore? But what if I need it? Say, in the future my I pod quits and I so does my CD player? Or what if I need it to hold some batteries? I can use it to hold chapstick or sunscreen even - hey!

Anyway, it's this kind of thought that keeps me from getting rid of stuff. Plus, if it doesn't go in the landfill, what other person is gonna want it? What about VHS tapes? Once in a while I'll pull out a tape and watch it, usually home videos or stuff recorded off TV. But what about the hundreds of movies I have still? Most of this stuff is on DVD now. I can give them away, but thrift stores are full of VHS tapes that no one wants. Damn this new technology. Screw you digital! But some of these tapes I have to keep - for posterity. Like this one, which I have never watched all the way through.



This is the Magic Star Traveler, a budget store special I'm guessing. I'm guessing because it was a gift, which also makes it hard to get rid of. It's a gift from mi amigo Andy. How can I throw this out? It's so damn funny - just the cover alone, and like I said I haven't taken the time to watch it, aside from a few minutes. Andy and I used to have this challenge. This is the kind of drug-free fun we'd come up with in pre-digital age Utah. We'd go to the local video store and make up an imaginary line in the center of the store. Each of us would pick a side and try to find the best video cover possible. When I say best, I mean the funniest, cheesiest, you know. The best to date was The Revenge of Johnny Firecloud.




The cover was so bad, we just had to rent it. The movie was lame. The cover had it all, why watch the film? You might not tell from this blurry image (the only one I could find), but that trooper getting scalped looks like he's enjoying it. And Johnny Firecloud doesn't look like that dude on the cover by the way.

Anyway, this Magic Star Traveler would have been a contender had it been in the video store. As I was scanning the cover of this tape, I noticed the label on the actual cassette. Just a plain printed label that says Magic Star Traveler Vol. 1 - plain type on white. Then I noticed something printed underneath on the cassette. I peeled the white label off and found the true original identity of the tape: ESPN Fitness Pros, recycled into "Magic Star Traveler". By the way, it's an "Award Winner", just look at the cover.

Maybe I should just scan or take photos of these items, so I can just get rid of them once and for all. Then they can all go into the great landfill - like that Grandaddy song, Broken Household Appliance National Forest.

Did you ever hear the story about the landfill made up of E.T. Atari games? There were several hundred thousand game cartridges that wouldn't sell, even though the movie was huge. I guess the game just blew and no one bought it. So now there are tons of E.T. games buried somewhere in the New Mexico desert.